If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
