The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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