Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
youre lurking in front of me
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
