i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
