Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
