Can i not drive my cunt home
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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