i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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