I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
