If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
