Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
