Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
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