i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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