Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
