nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
