He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
