shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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