Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
