Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
