Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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