Small penises have feelings too.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
