we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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