I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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