tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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