I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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