God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
