Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
