I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
