On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Too much gin, very little bucket
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
