so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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