Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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