Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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