Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
