I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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