When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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