the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
