Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
