Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize