i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
