If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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