i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
