I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
is it fun? or sober?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
