Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
