I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
did i just pee glitter
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
