You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
