He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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