so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
