I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
