Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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