so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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