O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
