Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize