Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We are all done wearing pants today
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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