I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
