im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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