Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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