Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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