she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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