Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
