yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
