Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
