no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
