Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
