I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize