My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize