what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
operation have a gay friend backfired
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
And then he peed in my hair
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