She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
